i sigh and still she patiently waits she is aloof yet strangely knowing
fingers trailing lightly i scratch upon my pad meaning, i plead to her
insight, enlightenment, joy. she sighs like the wind and dutifully recites:
you who are yet blind why do you choose not to see
it lies all around you this brook,
this breeze they beckon to you
whispering secrets given without care
even i stand with you to teach and give
and share yet you are restless, discontent
it seemed to me a mocking. i blanked my mind, awaiting her true telling. slowly, softly, she moved closer, laughing lightly at my plight and setting herself upon a rock to dangle feet in the water.
she speaks to me of life, in a language i almost understand. it is lilting, sweet thing, and my ears quiver with the sounds of it. the breeze plays with my hair and she rises, leaves dancing in her wake to watch me with studied indifference.
can you rise to meet me? she asks. teasing as she sways. she is etheral, translucent perfection, with hair the color of autumn.
she split the soul of me long ago, and i am now reluctant. she shrugs and turns away and a cloud covers the sun. just as i think to call her, she turns, smiling, but cruelly and says,
you call to me with sincerity
and i obligingly appear,
to coax and coddle and nurture
from you that which you yet fear.
now i tell you most truly,
of this game i quickly tire.
this thirst of yours is unholy
you seek to quench your fire.
she sighed softly one thing more, in such things, you cannot have my aid. turning from me again, she took a step that is departing and in it, sets the band about my heart constricting with fear. i gasp to speak her halting and hearing it, she whipped about with eyes that are daggers, hissing at me,
many was the time i came to you
and often we conversed
of truth, of love, of life and pain
of hope and dreams and trust
you have the key to my door
welcome i would give you in
but you walk a darker path
in restless, shadowed glen
in this there is no helping
so with love and heavy heart
this day when i walk from you
it is to set you at last apart
my head bowed as her words struck true, i missed her going. sometimes i hear her still, laughing from a distance, speaking with another, somewhere. i have not the energy to hate her, spending all i possess yet in her loving. maybe someday, giving enough to know once more her presence.