I have long prided myself on not being of that “fannish” mindset; most often, I have thought it a pointless waste of time and energy. After all, here you are, all focused on a human being who (a) doesn’t know you exist, (b) likely will never be otherwise, (c) has an entire universe of life that you can neither experience or know, and (d) is actively presenting a persona, facade, and act that results in said “fannish” behavior. I mean, essentially, you’re indulging in the most arrogant act of all — getting all foamed up over a figment of your own imagination, right? (Heh.)
Well. Serves me right, I suppose, that, at long last, I have fallen ill with the malady of fandom. And, of course, now that I have, I shall be the very epitome of that hypocrite who extolls the previously darkened side of this proverbial coin. Naturally, I will do so with all manner of justification and rationale; pointing to the various healthy enjoyments of imagination and what all.
It will still be a most mighty hypocrisy. (But I will not suffer it, as with any instance of human hypocrisy, I conveniently forget all my stridency until now, so bully to you if you wish to take me to task for it. Consider me like that fellow in ol’ Billy Wigglestick’s play, “Much Ado About Nothing”, Benedick; a thing that, in more ways than one, is quite apt indeed. He countered those who would “take the piss” out of him on the topic of marriage by saying:
I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants of wit broken on me, because I have railed so long against marriage: but doth not the appetite alter?
And still, later, more:
In brief, since I do purpose to marry, I will think nothing to any purpose that the world can say against it; and therefore never flout at me for what I have said against it; for man is a giddy thing, and this is my conclusion.
For me, the trip of the trigger was a combination of intellect and humor (though I suppose I should admit that a certain uncanny resemblance to the animus has not hurt the matter, nor the fact that he looks a LOT like a fellow I was just OVER THE FUCKING MOON IN LOVE WITH ‘once upon a time’).
Harumph. Despite all that bias, I tell you: This fellow is funny. But more than “just funny”, he’s a skilled writer with ridiculously good timing; I mean, stupidly and uncannily precise timing. Like, you know, preternatural. I got snagged on his “Out of England” tour (my first “Gervais experience”; I have no clue on anything else as I don’t really watch much television and I had to look him up to know he is somehow involved with “The Office”… and I am willing to guess that “somehow involved” is probably an understatement, but hey… I’m new at this so shush you!).
Actually, I think the thing that “got me” was that it is not simply or cheap or tawdry humor, for all it is decidedly ribald humor. (Does anyone know the difference anymore?) Never in my life did I think I would see the day when a comedian could make a HITLER joke and actually avoid “making a Hitler joke”. (Again… the difference… anyone…? Anyone….? Bueller?)
Arrogance as humor, conceit as humor, and at the same time (practically) self-deprecation and humility as humor. I swear, the fellow is like a Jungian poet or maybe more aptly a Twain-ian tailor; deftly pulling at the knots of culture, society, and the various vagaries, vanities, and vacuities until no one can avoid their notice. Using humor as a finger, pointing at all the things it seems we work so damned hard to avoid, ignore, dismiss. That’s really what I love; that’s what I’m “fannish” about… well, mostly.
Damn it, it’s annoying! I don’t want to be “a fan”! I’m staying up late to listen/watch “The Ricky Gervais Show” (which I really find to be “The Karl Pilkington Show, with Ricky and Steven doing their version of MST3K… but still, hilarious!)
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME!!! (please don’t stop!)
Damn you, Ricky Gervais! (Thank you, of course… but damn you, damn you, damn you!)
And now, for an obligatory link/video wherein this shiny new persona of my affection is enjoyably presented:
As an aside – I would have linked the YouTube video, but apparently, Google has now decided to force you to log in to “view adult content” (since when was tv-14 ADULT?)… so pardon me while I also include a brief response to Google on this matter: Fuck you, Google.
Oh, and since it seems kind of obligatory for “fans” to post pictures of their … what? Hm. Not a “crush” (hush you!)… not an “object”… a “frush”? Fan crush? Horribly awkward word, but it will have to do… here, then, pictures of my new FRUSH (In true “fan” style, I snipped them from a video.. though I suck as a fan because I apparently didn’t get a one of the fellow smiling or laughing):